Five Point Plan

Okay, first off, I do know the Bonnie Talbot now following me, so I feel like less of a dork. Woot! Does the fact that I have dork points gain me dork points? Pft, my invention, my rules. So, there are many things that I could discuss today. I think I would like to blabber on about... MY CAT! Yes, my cat.

I can’t write a very long post today because I have a sociology paper due in two days. Bleh. I’d rather blog. Let’s face it, I’d rather do just about anything but that. So far I’ve written my intro. My thesis is: “Gender socialization limits the educational possibilities of children as they are affected by gender based streaming, the still prevalent issue of in class sexism and their initial learning which will affect them throughout their academic careers and into the job market.” Something along those lines. Can you feel the enthusiasm radiating... just... radiating.

Anyway about the cat. Here are steps you can use to determine if you spend too much time with your cat. I’m sure this can be applied to other pets but cats are just so darn independent.

1. Your cat seeks you out for a morning hug. Meaning he bashes his head into your bedroom door and meows until you wake up and pick him up.


2. Your cat sits in the chair next to yours at the breakfast counter and doesn’t beg for food.


3. Your cat follows you from room to room when you don’t have food. This includes the bathroom when you make no secret of the fact that you are going to be taking a shower. He also sits in the bathroom until you’re done.


4. Your cat comes when called. Cats don’t do that!


5. Your cat can make himself perfectly understood without having the ability to talk. Meeko swats and scurries away. Gallops is a more appropriate description... what with the saddlebags.

Yeah, my cat does all of these things. I am so not kidding when I say that I’m on my way to being a cat lady. That or he’s giving me some of the basics into parenting... what a scary thought. I require a partner before any childrearing will occur. Thus far there are no prospects of a partner and therefore children are not on my agenda.

Anyway, this is Meeko and that thing on his right, that’s my bedroom door. He started banging his head into the door shortly afterward. My mom took the picture rather than shooing him away.

Oh Meeko... Look how his feet disappear. Hehe! I love my fat cat.

Lauren.

Finally Lucky

There’s something I rarely say and I wish to share it with you. Today was wonderful. –shocked gasps– I know. I don’t say it very often because I think wonderful is one of those big words that shouldn’t be used lightly. Like awesome in the sense of inspiring awe. I doubt that you want to read about my thoughts on diction.

Today is a very special day for me. It’s not my birthday, it’s not the birthday of someone I love, and it’s not a holiday. It is however an anniversary. Two years ago today, I came out for the first time to my former best friend. The significance of that might be lost on some (my parents and family) but it really is a big deal. It’s admitting out loud for the first time that a small though important part of yourself is different than everyone else. It’s labelling yourself, admitting to yourself for the first time that there’s something about you that not everyone is going to like, that you’re not “normal” (even though you are). And it’s scary the first time, and the second time, and the third. And it’s scary every time you tell someone you truly care about. But after that first time, the initial wave of vomit inducing, fight or flight sensations diminish. At least it did with me. I was fortunate enough to be accepted by my friends. I imagine it would be quite different in the face of a negative reaction. But that wasn’t the case with me. So, now I would like to share some of the more memorable “coming outs” I’ve had. They’re each different but looking back, they each make me smile and be thankful that I had the friends that I did.

I was walking with my best friend at around maybe ten o’clock. It was dark and it was cold and we were heading back to her house after a brief shopping spree at Walmart. I’d been dropping hints left and right hoping to get her on the topic but she just wasn’t responding. So I blurted it out. She looked at me and all she said was “Yeah, I kind of figured.” I was stunned for a moment and badly wanted to push her into traffic for scaring me so badly and then dismissing it. The next night, I was still a little freaked out, so she came over and sat with me until five o’clock in the morning, just talking. It’s my favourite memory of her.

Months later, I was talking to my friend Dana on MSN. It was right before I went out on my first date so she was all excited and pestering me about it. I finally told her that I wasn’t going out with a guy. She responded with “Oh, okay.” That response was way too calm so I asked her if she realized what I’d just told her. “Yeah, you’re going out with a girl.” Still too calm. I told her I was expecting more of a reaction because she was acting like it was nothing. Then all of a sudden she got it. She came back with “Oh my God are you gay!?” I just burst out laughing. She’s one of the sweetest, funniest people I know.

One of my friends from work, Zoe, had been asking all kinds of questions about my date. I omitted the fact that I’d gone out with a woman, never mentioned a name and avoided gender specific pronouns (which is freaking hard). So when I came in to work extremely agitated (I’d just come out to my parents via a letter) she asked what was up. I accidentally shouted that I’d just informed my parents I was gay. “But what about that guy you went out with.” I looked at her and quickly told her, “Yeah, his name was ________.” Her name is unmistakably feminine. Zoe’s only response was “Well, that makes more sense.” Later when I told her how I’d informed my parents, she looked at me, laughed and said: “You wrote them a letter? Saying what? I’m gay, and by the way, I drank all the orange juice?”

Given my penchant for bad luck, I got really lucky with my friends. Today reminds me of that, even if I’m not friends with some people anymore. And the beautiful snow just capped off my day. Even if it’s only 5:30, I don’t think anything can upset me at this point.

Lauren.

About Shoes...

I was feeling rather lazy today. While I did get some homework done, I watched movies in between. It makes the task more bearable. I decided to try out some new movies via youtube and surfthechannel. I know these aren’t actually new... but to a girl who camps out in her room with books most of the year, they qualify. The girl is me by the way.

I ended up watching Thank You for Smoking with Aaron Eckhart (on youtube) and later I started watching Juno (on surfthechannel). I’m not really a fan of watching movies online, most of the time parts are missing, have subtitles in foreign languages that are really distracting or the site kicks me off. Annoying. But in the end I get to see the movies. For the most part they’re movies I can’t get here because well... I live in a small, rather conservative city in the middle of the bush.

Anyway, I noticed something weird in the movies that I’ve been watching lately. The other movie qualifying as ‘lately’ being The Gymnast. The actors never take their shoes off. What the hell is up with that? I’m totally aware that it’s a set and everything, but when I get home, I take my shoes off. I don’t walk around in my runners and I definitely don’t walk around in my clunkers (winter boots). I don’t even use my slippers, which is a shame because they’re cute ladybugs. I like socks or bare feet! So why is it that in shows and movies everyone is wearing shoes indoors? I don’t get it.

Like, in Juno, there’s snow on the ground and she just walks right in. Hello! Slush? Salt? Sand? That is going to ruin the carpet or hardwood. And in Thank You for Smoking, the kid is all over this hotel room where everything is white. Even in the cartoons I used to watch... okay, still watch on occasion, like Arthur. Do they just wake up in the morning and slip into their shoes? It seems kind of silly. What are you expecting to step on in your house? If the place where you live has a dirt floor then sure, I get it, but none of the places in these movies seem to be in that condition.

Do people really keep their shoes on in their houses? I mean, it has to be coming from somewhere right? I don’t know anyone here who keeps their shoes on... I rarely wear mine when I have to putter outside my house let alone indoors. Yeah... I traipse around my yard and such in socks. It drives my parents crazy.

I feel as though this is an unanswerable question. Kind of pointless too. Anyway, as for the movies, I recommend them all thus far. I haven’t seen the end of Juno mind you. I got kicked off and have to wait another sixteen minutes before I can see the end. Don’t tell me what happens! I’m at the part where she finds out that the dude wants to divorce his wife and she’s all like “But I want my baby to have a family!” I didn’t see how the argument ends. The wife just came in. Thank You for Smoking is about a lobbyist for the tobacco industry. It was really interesting actually. And I’m definitely a non-smoker. As for the Gymnast, well, lesbian romantic movie about a former gymnast who rediscovers her love for gymnastics and ends up falling for her female partner. Aside from the usual romantic/romantic comedy plot line, I liked it.

If you feel like checking them out, they are online. I think I’m going to put them on my Christmas list. Another way I annoy my parents, making them buy lesbian movies. (insert evil laugh).

Lauren.

Taylor Lautner (Shirtless Pics Included)

It appears that I have a new follower. Sixteen people think my ramblings are entertaining! Yay! If you’re the Bonnie Talbot I know, what the hell took you so long?! If not, welcome! If you are the Bonnie Talbot I know, welcome anyway, but I will have to ask that you wear the goofy uniform. You also don’t get a cookie. The reverse of that applies if you aren’t the Bonnie Talbot I know. Now, is anyone confused?

Well, I finally have something fun to talk about! I was treated to a change of scenery today and it got my happy blogging juices flowing. Finally. I was quite tired of writing angry or neutral things. So today’s topic of discussion is: Taylor Lautner! Did any of you squeal? I totally want to know if you did. I know at least someone out there did. Maybe Bonnie Talbot...

In case anyone doesn’t know, this would be Taylor Lautner aka Jacob Black in the Twilight movie series.

Now on to the story that brought about this topic. Like I said, I was at my placement and at that time, I was with the grade ten class. They were to go to the computer lab so I just sat around, reading various papers and things that the grade elevens had written. Then, for whatever reason, my attention was pulled away from my task by an rather spirited argument about one Taylor Lautner. One of the girl’s in the class, I don’t know her name, but she is one of the more talkative girls, was discussing how she planned to date and or marry Taylor. The boy, I believe his name is Jake, was totally just trying to get her going by saying that her future husband looked like he was five and Asian. I stupidly burst out laughing and was then roped into the argument.

For the purposes of this conversation, I will call the girl: Fiona. I just watched Shrek 3 on TV. There is no actual resemblance between them. I just like the name.

Fiona: You think he’s hot don’t you Madame? (It's so weird being called Madame.)

Me: Uh, I’m twenty, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. (I chose not to mention the more dominant reason why I didn’t share her views. It’s a Catholic school and they just really don’t need to know. I’m also closer to being 21.)

Fiona: He’s eighteen, that’s not that bad.

Me: I still think it should be illegal.

Fiona: I’m seventeen.

Teacher: That’s far more appropriate.

Me: I do agree that he doesn’t look Asian though.

The argument kind of stopped there. I do have to agree with Jake, Taylor Lautner does have a baby face. Although, he is a good looking guy. I mean, I tend to go female and usually older than me, but hey... he’s certainly not unfortunate.

I’m pretty sure that was a major contributing factor to the whole hotness thing. Not really my type. Should I pull out my umbrella for drool protection?

I love my placement. I’m having so much fun. God high school kids are funny. Probably because I don’t actually have to teach them anything. But watching them and listening to them is funny. Right now I think being there and working there is my favourite thing. Isn’t it strange that I’m having a ball no matter what I’m doing and my host teacher (who was formerly my English Lit teacher) is constantly worried that I’m not doing enough or that I’m bored?

Well, that’s all I have to say today. Do I want to know how many of you spent more than five minutes drooling over that picture?

Lauren.

Faith and Fate

I’m in a mood. Not a bad mood. Not a good mood. I’m just pensive. I caught the tail end of a really interesting radio show today and I guess it’s still got me thinking. It was about religion. I don’t really want to discuss religion here because the last thing I feel like doing is engaging in some sort of debate. Frankly, religious debates are pointless. That’s as political as I’m getting.

In my case, I’ve always believed that there was something helping me along. There are events in my life that are far too coincidental to be coincidence. I’ve discussed this in therapy countless times but especially in the last five years or so, I can’t really deny that something, be that something an old guy up in the clouds or just the natural functioning of the universe, but something has been pulling strings in my life.

For me, I was particularly affected by a string of individual people rather than events. When I was sixteen, I started acting up, I was getting very emotional, stressed, angry, all at the drop of a hat. I thought I was going crazy and that’s how it felt. I was out of control emotionally. School was also very hard for me at the time. I had math and biology in the same semester and I honestly don’t understand either one. The only bright spot in my day was English. Ironically, that was the only class I was trying to get out of because it wasn’t challenging enough. I couldn’t. Then one day, my principal (who is still principal) gave me a detention, it was a stupid reason, but I was at fault. I’d never had detention before.

Detentions were served during lunch, so I asked my English teacher where the detention room was. Yeah, I’m that much of a goody two shoes (I’d look stupid with only one shoe now wouldn’t I?). Turns out she was supervising detention that day so she brought me. When it ended, she sat me down and talked to me. She told me that she noticed I wasn’t smiling anymore. No one has ever noticed something like that about me before.

She talked to me every day after class following that chat. My class with her was before lunch. She made sure I was okay every day. And then she disappeared. It was really hard for me to get over but that’s when I really met my best friend. Misery loves company they say. She became like a sister to me, closer than my actual sister. We pulled each other up off the floor more times than I can count. When I couldn’t take being at home anymore, I stayed at her house. When she was alone and scared to sleep at her place, she came to mine. The intimacy of our friendship was a lot like what I had with my teacher. But then, my friend left. Our lives went in two very different directions very quickly and we haven’t spoken since.

As you can imagine, I was devastated. I’m sure she must have been on some level. I like to think that I meant that much to her. Thankfully however, I met Veronica about three weeks after I lost touch with my best friend. It’s not the same, but in some ways it feels the same. In a good way. We connect in a similar way.

All that to say that something is at work in the world. I’ve never lost someone without having someone new come into my life to fill a similar role. It took me a long time to see it that way but looking back... it seems like too much of a coincidence to me. Let me know what you think.

By the way, I’m fine now. I have great doctors, an awesome therapist, good friends and medication. Note that medication is last in that list. If you’re curious, last year I was diagnosed with dysthymia. It’s a kind of chronic depression but it’s under control and I’m much better now than I was then. For the most part, I’m happy.

Lauren.

Deer Conference, Fall of 2009

Today went by fairly quickly and man am I happy. This week was the worst one this year. I think it’s fairly safe to say it’s downhill from here. In a good way. Not the kind where it’s like, my life can only get worse from here. Quite to the contrary. Christmas break is upon us!

Anyway, again, nothing interesting happened today so I’m going to talk about a conversation I had with my mom the other day. If you thought I was crazy random, you will now see what me and my mom are like together. It’s scary. But really fun.

So, when I say I live in the Middle of Nowhere, it’s not exactly a lie or an exaggeration. I live in a small city but it’s in the middle of the bush. For instance, below is a picture of my school. Note the trees at the bottom of the picture. That bush goes on for another hour or so by car, stops for a small town, continues, stops for a small town, continues... You get the idea. It’s actually a rather silly place for a university. It’s very out of the way. But at the same time, I like it for that reason. It’s really pretty in the fall and it’s fairly quiet. Plus there are trails and stuff for hiking. Moving on though. Given that the school is in the bush, on the way up in the morning, I tend to come across deer and a few times a black bear... but the deer are what’s important. They stand right by the road as if there aren’t cars there. They always amaze me no matter how many times I see them.

The other day, while driving to school I saw a deer in the middle of a field. I only just saw it as it was blending in with the grass and brush. My mom started going on about how they changed colours because of hunting season. I’m pretty sure that deer are always brown and that the grass in the field was just dead. So when I laughed at her, she told me that they in fact changed their colour of brown every year and that this year they had voted and were sporting a chamois coat. I’ll assume that’s brown.

Naturally this conversation led into the Seasonal Conventions led by the forest creatures and other fairies. The Deer Delegate was explaining to Mother Nature that the change in fur colour had to occur soon due to the arrival of hunting season. Mother Nature was the presiding authority. I’m pretty sure we said something about the Easter Bunny but we got to the school entrance and proceeded to swear half in French and half in English at the various cars and buses that wouldn’t let us in. We only swear completely in French when we’re very angry. If there’s still English in there you’re safe. If not, even duck and cover won’t save you. Today, I was being driven to school again and commented that I hadn’t seen any deer. My mom told me that it’s because it was raining and they were hiding so the rain didn’t make their fur darker. That would make them more visible to hunters. I’m making it sound like there are hunters around every corner aren’t I? There aren’t. I have never seen a deer get shot from the street.

Does my being this random make sense now? It’s clearly genetic. Oh! We also have a scary population of geese, lots of ducks, a family of groundhogs and of course, seagulls... I do live in an urban area.

Lauren.

Still in Essay Land

I have been driving myself half insane the past few weeks trying to get all of this end of term garbage over with. This week was a tough week. I was supposed to have three essays done by Wednesday. The problem? I didn’t have weeks before hand to prep them (I technically did, but professors seem to forget that I have more classes than just theirs). So I’ve been sitting, reading, downloading journals like crazy and typing as if my fingers were an entity all their own, for the last three days. Three papers, three days. Let me tell you, it ain’t happening. The goal was to finish my sociology paper for tomorrow and get a bonus for handing it in early. Well, it’s nine thirty and I’m still five pages short. Sure I could spend the rest of the night working on it, doing all my reference work, bullshitting but I still have that book review to finish off. So screw the five percent. If I hand in my piece of crap the five percent will be nothing. I’ll just finish it this weekend... I’m not that desperate.

That took up the majority of my day and limited the amount of amusing anecdotes I would be able to relate to you. I did do my presentation in Media Studies. And I did show my prof your comments regarding my A+. He told me he’d see what he could do. So hopefully that’s a good sign. He was smiling at least. Overall I think it all went okay. It went by a lot faster than I anticipated and I had to rush the end a bit... but it’s done so I don’t care.

Therapy was kind of poopy. After going over the same problem over and over again, we finally came to the conclusion that there are only two ways of solving one of my major problems. The first is to learn to deal with it so that it doesn’t bother me. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. The second was to remove myself from the situations. WHICH MUST HAPPEN. I’m just not all that enthusiastic about making it happen... I hate therapy for the difficult emotional work I have to do. Like I don’t have enough homework.

OH! Since I’ve been trapped in Essay Land, I didn’t manage to do my readings for today. Go figure my prof in 19th Century Lit would give us a quiz. I politely asked him to stab me in the face. It went much the same way as the quiz in which I introduced Fran and Hulio as characters. This time, one of the questions was: “I love thee___________”. And I had to fill in the blank. The actual answer is: I love thee true. I wrote Charles. Definitely knew it wasn’t Charles but at least the line is being spoken to a man who could have been named Charles. Another question was going on about a substance that induced a sort of ecstasy. The correct answer was wine, which I actually thought of, but being frustrated and annoyed, I wrote mushrooms. They’re a hallucinogenic... they’d throw you into a fit of ecstasy just as well as wine, probably better. Another question was something along the lines of “I see ______________ upon thy brow”. I wrote death. Turns out it’s a death-lily symbolic of death so maybe I’ll get a pity point. Thank God these things are only worth 0.5% each. I suck at them. I have way too much to remember. That’s what notes are for! Pretty sure I failed that one. There are only five questions... Hopefully my prof laughs at least.

I think I’m going to go sit and watch a movie. Or bathe. Both are important.

Lauren.

How?!

If there was a day to skip blogging it should be today but my therapist is now checking them so I won’t. Gotta love that added level of paranoia. I’m kidding. We have fun talking about my blogging. Anyway, I was pretty sure that today would be one of those days where I should just crawl back into bed and forget that I’d gotten up in the first place. I know what you’re thinking... not another negative post for the love of freakin’ God! Well no, it’s not a negative post. It’s a post quite similar to the ones where I get stuck in the bathroom. Interestingly enough, that didn’t happen today. I guess I should tell you what DID.

I woke up feeling sleepy, which is strange because I actually slept quite well. How well I slept is however, irrelevant. I’m usually a tad drowsy and given that today is Monday, I didn’t think much of it. I made it to the kitchen safely, managed to use the toaster without injury, even made my lunch! I know... applause. But here’s where the whole going back to bed thing came in. I have no idea how I managed this. I sat down at the counter with my toast, my chocolate milk and my peanut butter. I got the peanut butter onto the first piece of toast and was quite pleased with my accomplishment. There was a bit too much, so I used the leftover on the other piece of toast. There wasn’t enough. Not seeing a crisis, I reached for the peanut butter and tipped it so that I would better be able to scoop it out of the jar. The problem? I didn’t grab the peanut butter. I grabbed my chocolate milk, tipped it and spilt it all over my toast, the counter, my pants and the floor. Naturally, all of this happened before I even realized what I’d done. So I just sat there, stunned at why my crotch was suddenly wet and then I noticed that I was holding a partially empty glass. All I could do for a minute was look at it totally confused. Seriously, how the hell do you manage that? I still don’t know.

This one is peanut butter.

This one is a glass.

THESE DO NOT LOOK ALIKE AT ALL!

I think Lauren needs more sleep. I think Lauren should stop talking in the third person. Let that be a lesson to all of you. Chocolate milk is not peanut butter and it will spill. Quickly. Not like peanut butter that sticks and is gooey and oh so yummy.

After that minor setback, which puzzled me the rest of the day, all was well. I got a lot of work done. Like I said, I didn’t get stuck in a bathroom stall. I went to group therapy and didn’t cry, not that I have in group... in solo therapy yes. But that’s different. I then got to come home and bake cookies for the Pride Bake Sale. For those who know me, yes, I’m actually participating in something. I made white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies. None of them are burnt. Some of them are dark... but I don’t discriminate so it’s all good. Anyone living in the Middle of Nowhere who reads my blog should go buy some cookies! They’re for charity!

Also, I get to present in my web identities class tomorrow. I think I’m going to conveniently put up the blog where you all address my professor and ask him to give me an ‘A+’. Public opinion can’t hurt right?... I’ll let you know tomorrow.

Lauren.

Frenglish Makes my Brain Hurt

Hi! Lauren here, coming to you live from Essay Land. I have to say, I don’t like it here. There are essays to be written everywhere. I’ve been trying to find my way out but it seems that the only vehicles that will transport me back to the land of humanity are leaving sometimes in December and not before. Just my luck right? Today I wrote a six and a half page essay detailing the awesomeness of Google as a website. Tuesday I have to present that paper. Due to the stupid alphabet I get to go first. That and I sat in front of the class and was the last to choose which day I could present on. Guess which day was totally free! After this I’m going to attempt to write a book review on a book I haven’t finished. Thankfully it’s not a book report so it shouldn’t affect my paper too much. Plus it’s a historical book so I also know how it ends.

Anyway, since I entered Essay Land, I remembered a bunch of words that I never write correctly. I blame it on my French heritage. It’s hard knowing two languages! I mix stuff up all the time and it drives me nuts because it’ll look fine but at the same time it won’t. Okay, enough rambling, I sense that you need examples.

Future – Futur: In my mind it should be the other way around. Future should have an ‘e’ at the end in French and not in English.

Universe - Univers: It makes perfect sense the way it is, I just still mix them up. I have to think about it.

Apartment – Apartement: Again it’s that whole issue with the ‘e’. Stupid ‘e’. I know there isn’t one in English but I’m still tempted to put one in there for no apparent reason.

Marriage – Mariage: I always mixed them up until my grade nine or ten, it was the same teacher, I just don’t remember which year, taught us a trick to remember. It’s factually flawed but I’ve never forgotten it. The English marry twice, the French only get married once.”

Address – Addresse : Freakin’ ‘e’ again. I’m thinking we should just get rid of that letter all together.

Defence –Défense: It’s the same dang sound... just a different dumb letter.

Okay, I know there are other ones that I’m just not thinking of at the moment. But I think that there’s one obvious villain here. I don’t think I need to name names. There are however words that I’ve never messed up.

Orange – Orange: It’s spelled the same way. HA!

Chocolate – Chocolat: I don’t know why but with this word the ‘e’ doesn’t throw me off...

Fun fact:

In the sentence; “C’est un affaire d’homme” the d’homme part is pronounced dumb. Now, I can hear you saying, Lauren, why do I care? Because it’s a joke! A lame one but a joke all the same!

It translates to “It’s a man thing”. D’homme translates to “a man”. Funny? Haha? I’m tired. Essay Land’s clocks move slower. Makes Lauren sleepy and insane-like. Ugh... I’m off to try my hand at the book review... Wish me luck!

Lauren.

Damn the Season

I think I made a mistake. I made Princess Procrastination the hero, but at this point in time she’d be much better suited to villainous works. By Wednesday, I have to have three essays written and a presentation done. AH! Anyway, in spite of my scholastic obligations, I did a whole lot of nothing. My parents were shampooing the carpets... why they choose weekends I’m stressing and have a zillion things to do, I have no idea. My whole room is upside down and there’s no quiet! NONE! Oh well... It’ll get done. It always does by some strange twist of fate.

So, given that I have nothing to actually talk about regarding today's events, I’m going to talk about... my Christmas list.

I’m not a fan of the Christmas season. My dad obsessively plays Christmas music starting in October. I can’t take it anymore by the time Christmas actually comes around. In the car, in the mall, at home, on TV! It’s everywhere! I hate the marathon that is getting together with family. I’m a from a French Canadian background. I have relatives coming out of every possible nook and cranny. It’s to the point where we have to meet twice to get everyone together. Once for everyone who lives in town on Christmas day and a few days later with those from out of town as well. Then there’s my dad’s side, only one day thank goodness. Of course, there’s always my work Christmas party, which is actually really fun.

But I digress. My mom has been bugging me for my Christmas list, throwing the season into gear officially. Once again, I have no idea what the hell to write on it. I don’t want anything. The things I do want definitely can’t fit into a box. This is what I have so far:

-Shirts
-Season 5 of the L Word

That’s it. Somehow I don’t think that will be very helpful. I usually put down supplies, like paper and ink for my printer. I tend to go through a lot of both. I want to move out and be on my own but I’m not about to ask my parents for that... first off, they can’t afford it and secondly, it totally defeats the purpose. I could probably ask for a cell phone. That way I could stop borrowing my dad’s on the rare occasions where I need one. No one but Helen calls me... and honestly, I’d rather she not be able to find me 24/7. I like her and I love hanging out with her... but she’s usually calling me in to work. This is when I hate being so utilitarian. I don’t like trinkets and dust collectors.

I need suggestions! Help?

Lauren.

Yay for Earplugs!

I’ve written about crappy days for the last little while so I am very happy to announce that today was not crappy! Far from it actually. I caught up on some sleep, I did some work on my papers, I went to my placement and had a talk with Helen. I think this proves that there’s nothing like being productive to help you refocus and feel better. While doing all of this did put me in a better mood, what just got me totally pumped was my placement.

It was a bit unexpected but at the same time, not so much. I’ve always been good at helping people with their homework and at explaining things to them. Plus, I’m sure you’ve noticed, I love talking and even more than that, I love talking about things I’m passionate about. It’s what made me think that I could be a good teacher and actually enjoy doing it. Over the last few years, as some of you know, I’ve had family members and friends sowing the seeds of doubt. I’d hate to admit this, but it worked. For the past two years or so, I’ve been doubting whether or not it really is something that I should be headed toward.

My main goal in life, career wise, would be to become a published, professional writer. I’ve already written several novels and I’m still working on it. My progress has been slowed due to university, but that’s still THE thing that I want to accomplish. At the same time, I realize that it may never happen, or, that it may take time to happen. I need a fulltime job with a regular pay check. That’s what my relatives have been attacking, telling me that teaching isn’t a plan B type of job. I know that. I know that it is not easy. I know that it’s a hard job, with long hours that needs lots of patience and lots of love. In my mind, it’s not a plan B. In a sense I suppose it is, but if I never become a professional writer and I can teach for however many years, I don’t think I would regret it. If I could do both, it would be probably the best situation.

Anyway, the point. Today, the teacher who was kind enough to host me, asked if I would like to go up in front of the class. She wanted me to talk about university life with her grade elevens and to play a game with her grade nines. It was a very energetic Friday and no one really felt like doing a lot of work. So I was like “Yeah, of course!” And I did. It was awesome! I think I’m still a little bit high from the experience. I was nervous, but at the same time, it was so much fun. It totally made my day. It was just so easy going and to have the students be so involved and laughing, I loved it. Plain and simple, I loved it.

When I woke up this morning, I was feeling good. I was calmer, I was ready to get things done. I never expected that I would crush the nagging voices of the half dozen people who have been floating around in my head for far too long. When I was standing there, I felt like it was something I could do, it was something I could see myself doing.

The moral of the story: Negative voices are just noise pollution. Only you know what you want, what you need, what you love, what you can do and who you are.

So here’s to earplugs!

Lauren.

From Crappy to Silly

I must say, in the last two days I’ve receive quite the shit kicking. Bad luck wise of course, no physically. Things got worse yesterday thanks to a phone call from work. I’ve been put on a sort of... emergency stress leave if you will. I’m actually pretty upset about it, but thankfully, the higher authority that governs us all decided to cut me a bit of a break. I had a midterm that I wasn’t really able to study for, but I didn’t have any serious problems. Which was fan-freaking-tastic! With that out of the way, the day actually became strangely amusing.

Once again, I was in my Web Identities class. When it ended I went to the front to sign up for next week’s presentations. I get to go first. Yay! Anyway, I was talking to one of my friends and said that things weren’t going particularly well at work. My professor overheard (because I was probably only five feet away from him) and asked: “at the Chinese restaurant?”

I froze for a minute. I was totally confused. I couldn’t remember if or when I had told him where I worked. I was starting to wonder if he had psychic powers. Before I could voice this thought, I realized that he’d read it on my blog. On my midterm for his class, I’d written down the URL so he could check out the examples I was citing. After that, I asked him if he’d read the Mr. Tumnus blog because it was not directed at him. He told me he had and that he knew who I was talking about. He seemed very amused. Fortunately it doesn’t actually bother me that he knows. We ended up taking our discussion into the hall where my sister appeared randomly and as if by magic. He turned and was like: “So that’s your sister.” Again, I was confused how he knew her and was actually dumb enough to ask her about it a few minutes later. She was equally confused about how he knew her and that’s when I realized, he read it on my blog. HOLY CRAP AM I EVER OUT OF IT TODAY! But it was funny. By the way Kathryn, he’s going to go check out what you had to say about his midterm question. I thought it was funny.

Other than that, I got into potentially the most idiotic argument ever. I was hanging out in the Women’s Center again and got into a discussion about ancient art and depictions of sodomy. I’ve been studying this the last four months and I’m writing a paper on it. I know what I’m talking about. Anyway, he was arguing that those committing the acts of sodomy were gay. I explained to him that it was not a homosexual action but that it was simply a way of humiliating a conquered enemy culture and a way of asserting the power dynamic. He claimed that because it was homosexual sex, that made them gay. Well! I was annoyed. I don’t know if he was trying to get me going or what, but I thought it was very interesting that a straight guy was attempting to tell me, a gay girl, what the definition of being gay is. I kept saying that being gay has nothing to do with who you have sex with but it didn’t seem to be making a dent so I gave up. I eventually won the argument but it took a while. In case anyone is wondering, my opinion on the matter is as follows:

Being gay is a matter of SELF-identification. It’s not based on the physical act of sex but on who you are sexually attracted to. You can have sex with someone of the same gender and not be gay. People get way too hung up on labels and that’s what makes explaining sexuality so difficult.

So that was my day. It was crappy, but not horrible. It was actually kind of fun. I guess it’s just about looking for the bright spots and not dwelling on the darker ones.

Lauren.

If I had a Mr. Tumnus...

I was in my Holocaust history class today and was musing about my professors. The male ones... so not that kind of musing thank you very much. I wasn’t alone in this activity. The guy who sits in front of me is in a few of my other classes so together, we embarked on a wonderful journey of frustration venting.

Once that was done, the conversation turned a little violent. He thought a great way to punish our prof was to beat him with our course pack. It's a really long, pathetic excuse for a text book, filled with photocopies that cost me a lot of money. While I agreed that his solution was far more immediate, my imagination had come up with a far better way of dealing with this professor. There’s a hole in the floor in that particular class room and when I’m not paying attention, I like to believe it leads to Narnia. My sincerest hope was that this prof would fall into Narnia and be trampled by Mr. Tumnus. It makes my heart smile to imagine it. The way it plays out in my head is somewhat along the lines of the following video clip. Except the horse is Tumnus and Mushu is my professor. I would be Mulan but pointing and laughed gleefully and probably not stopping Mr. Tumnus for a little while longer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn_nM7x7Lcw&feature=related

And this of course is Mr. Tumnus!


I also have a theory that this prof lives under a bridge, pops out and attacks people with his course pack. I imitated his troll voice and while it made the guy in front of me laugh (because he knew what we were talking about) the others around me were looking at me funny. Oh well... I know they’re thinking it. I’ve called this guy so many things I can’t keep track of them all. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice person, but as a prof, he’s on my last nerve.

Lauren muttering: Three more weeks Lauren, just three more weeks.

Now for the official stuff. I need rules! I need seven people! Again! I choose to use the same method only this time, I have more people in my followers I can seek out. Mwahahahaha!

First the rules:

1. Thank whoever gave this to you. (Kind of seems werid to outright state it that way...)
2. Copy award (it's the awesomeness one!)
3. Post it in your blog. (took me under five minutes this time!)
4. Tell us seven things that your readers don't know (it's in yesterday's post)
5. Link to 7 new bloggers (done)
6. Notify winners of the award with a comment on their blog (also done)
7. Keep being awesome (Woot!)

And now, the winners! -applause-

http://dreamfarmgirl.blogspot.com/ You know why. Also partly because I was really amused by how you reacted to the last one I sent your way. If you don’t know... it’s because you’re awesome!

http://weighlessandweightless.blogspot.com/ Go you! Reach those goals! I send this because I can.

http://www.theinternalmakeover.com/ Yeah... that’s right! Just to underline the fact that you’re awesome. It was my opinion originally, but I think it’s just a fact now... like an aura. Kathryn=Awesome.

http://ramblesnshambles.blogspot.com/ Because your picture intrigues me. It’s a little scary, a little funny and a little intense. All together I think that comes out to funintary... I’ll keep working on it. I found you through I Have a Bed of Buttermilk Pancakes.

http://lets-flyaway-now.blogspot.com/ Because I’m very visual and I like green! Awesomeness! I found you through Rambles N Shambles.

http://lostmelody-m.blogspot.com/ Why not? You sound awesome. I found you through Let’s Fly Away Now.

http://faicarter.blogspot.com/ I read the post from Nov. 16th. KICK ASS! That is my definition of kick-assiness! Oh, and I found you through Simply Me.

So there. Randomness is fun! Plus it makes being outgoing so much easier.

Lauren.

Impromptu Experiment

You guys are awesome! I woke up not feeling too enthused, I read your comments and they got me going. To clear a few things up though, I know that I’m enough and I rather like me, it’s an issue with my family acting like I’m not enough. And I don’t think I could come to hate blogging... I’m having waaaaay too much fun. Honestly. This whole thing has me tickled right to my toes. I’m glad to know that if I ever need a pitchfork wielding mob that at least Kathryn will be leading the pack. Welcome back by the way. Aside from working late tonight, I think today went extremely well.

I got an email from possibly my absolute favouritest professor. She’s not my prof anymore, she actually moved away but she’s still emailing me and it’s quite fun. In the words of therapist Angela, it’s “validating”. I also conducted an impromptu social experiment with SARAH which was so stupid and funny that we both agreed it had to be blogged about. As you may be expecting, this happened in the Women’s Center. Anyway, in their office, they have a very comfy leather couch. Because I’m lazy, I was laying on it, reading for my 19th Century Lit class. After a while SARAH proclaimed that she wanted to lay down too. She went in search of a couch she could steal from the Education Lounge next door but came up empty. Eventually, we both remembered that the couch is actually a futon. So, we de-couchefied it. SARAH was laying on her stomach, pouring over a law book on half the futon, I was laying on my back reading Northanger Abbey on the other half. The door was wide open and the idiot decided that she would start eating those Popeye stick things. People were walking by, staring in and all they would see was the two of us, laying in the same direction, with her looking like she’s smoking... When I brought it up we laughed for about five minutes straight... or maybe not so straight. Either way it was fun to see how people would react.

Also! I’m apparently an awesome blogger, which was nice to learn. While I’ll do all of the more official stuff tomorrow, I shall thank Elfie of I Have a Bed of Buttermilk Pancakes, right now! THANK YOU! -does silly happy dance-

I’ll also state seven things about myself. So now you’re all going to know fourteen things about me! God these awards are nosy... Hmmm, what shall I tell you this time?

1. I hate cotton balls. They make a horrible sound that sends shivers up my spine. Even thinking about it is awful. I will not touch them. I make my mom take the cotton ball out of my Advil bottles. Yes, I’m 20.

2. My favourite thing to do at work is make wontons. I could do that all day.

3. Probably one of my favourite books ever is The Princess and the Goblin. I read it this summer for Children’s Lit. I think it’s in its own category in terms of brilliance.

4. I love swimming! And even though there are... three lakes where I live, I hate swimming in them. They’re all full of sticks and sliminess and I’d rather not get the itch. I have germ issues when it comes to swimming. Plus, the one has so many friggin’ sandbars you’re out two miles from shore before you’re up to your shoulders.

5. When my therapist asked me what my type was, I responded “Straight” without blinking. Yeah... I have horrible gaydar... if you choose to believe that exists.

6. I’m messy but I’m clean. And yes, there is a difference. Dirty is leaving food to rot under my bed for months. I don’t do that. I have my clean clothes folded, but not put away. Messy but clean.

7. I like asking people random and awkward questions just to see what they say. The last one was: “Could you see yourself being in a relationship with someone of the same gender?” I got a lot of interesting answers. I’m sure you can imagine.

The rest of my duties shall be completed tomorrow. I must get to bed! Or go to bed. I’m already in bed. Thanks again Elfie!

Lauren.

A Very Bleh Day

Today’s post is going to be both good and bad. Good in that I have new people to welcome! (Insert tired Snuggie joke here). So welcome to Breeze and Critterkeeper127. Yay! I’m up to thirteen followers. That makes me so happy. I’m also kind of amazed because I seriously didn’t expect that.

Unfortunately that’s the only good news. I don’t know that today’s entry will be very long or detailed but I didn’t have a great day. From about the time I came home from school, things kinda went downhill. I don’t know. I was in my Holocaust history class and then went to the Pride meeting. That was the best part of my day. Weird huh?

Once I got home, I pretty much wanted to go back to school. Bleh. The last time I mentioned my family on this thingy they actually got pretty pissed at me. Which was great... Actually, I don’t even think they read what I wrote, making it even more insulting. We’ll just say it’s one of the main reasons I’m in therapy.

Overall, I’m not feeling too great. I’ve been realizing a lot of what my therapist has been telling me for the last year or so. And let me tell you, it’s one thing to hear it repeated and to acknowledge it cognitively. It’s a lot more difficult, frustrating and well... painful to recognize it, understand it and I suppose to a certain degree, have to accept it. It’s heavy, I’m tired, I’m frustrated and I’m angry. But that’s kind of another reason I’m loving this blogging. As much as I feel restricted in the real world, I feel much freer here. My therapist would use the word “validated”. She likes that one.

And even though I’m not bashing my family in any way, if they see or hear about this one, they probably won’t be happy. They aren’t bad people by any means. They’re just... ignorant? They say and do hurtful things without knowing that they’re hurtful. No matter how I explain it, they just don’t understand that they’re even doing it. I’ve given up It’s gotten to a point where I’ve finally realized that I’m not enough and that I never will be. It’s hard to think of but at the same time, it’s also kind of liberating. Time to let go I suppose.

That’s why on my blog, I try to be positive and I try to make light of what goes on in my life, but I just couldn’t think of anything upbeat-ish today. I did get locked in a bathroom stall again. And when I mentioned it to a member of the Women’s Center she assured me that it happened to her as well, just not nearly as often as it happens to me. Voila!

Well that was a big downer wasn’t it? I’m sorry. I just couldn’t spin a happy yarn today. I’m thinking that tomorrow will be better. I’ll be going in to work and hanging out there so it’s looking good. Hope I didn’t depress you too much!

Lauren.

Chocohol and Princess Mononoke

Well hello there everyone! Happy Sunday! I never really like Sundays. It only reminds me that the next day is Monday and that I have to get back to work. Tomorrow may not be that bad however. In comparison to other weeks, this Monday is announcing a relatively easy upcoming week. I’ll just have to put on my worker hat and get down to it. If only a worker hat existed! One that made you want to work. I know of no such accessory. I’d probably need more than a hat to get motivated though. Thus far, my plans for tomorrow consist of class then maybe lunch with Helen, then going over to her place to watch movies. But come on! Really, I work my butt off all the time (not really, it’s still there, very present as always) I think I deserve to take some time to have fun and be social every now and then. No arguing on this point. I’m right.

But that’s tomorrow. Today I learned that too much of a good thing is in fact just too much. My mom went to a baby shower and ended up bringing back a caramel apple dipped in chocolate and drizzled with mint chocolate. Did my eyes bug out a little, yeah. I’m a chocoholic. I love chocolate in all forms and at nearly every percentage of chocolaticity. I like 85% dark chocolate! That’s almost eating a cocoa bean! Anyway, given that she’s on this new diet (finally an advantage for me), I got to eat hers. It was freaking amazing! And then I got about halfway through. The struggle began three quarters of the way from completion and by the time there was barely an apple left, I wanted no more. Ever. But it was really good. Like, really, really, good. I have never in my life needed a glass of milk to get through an apple but I badly needed one today. I don’t think I could handle another one for a long time though. It definitely falls under the category of treat.

Aside from that I actually physically left my house to visit my anime-loving friend who wishes to be known by the name KitKat. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect she was either staring at a KitKat bar or it’s an anime character I’m unaware of. Which honestly wouldn’t be hard to do. She treated me and watched Princess Mononoke with me. I enjoyed it very much. I say treated because I’m a total pain in the ass to watch movies with. I’m one of those people who comment and make stupid remarks all the time. I like to invent dialogue. Like, there’s this demon and I started calling him the “Spaghetti Intestine” monster. That’s what he looked like! And at another part, the stag/deer/antler thing went up to the wolf thing and they stood there nose to nose. It was after a huge battle and everyone was reuniting. Naturally, when the wolf and stag/deer/antler thing go up to one another I imitated a dumb voice and said “I love you.” It’s totally what the wolf was going to say. I know because he’d been trying to eat the deer thing before and this time didn’t even think it. And if that’s not bad enough, the one female character wore dark colours when everyone around her wore pastels. So I just randomly shouted out “She’s wearing dark colours, she’s the bad guy. It’s so obvious." Thankfully my lovely friend just laughed along with me. I would have stopped commenting if it was bothering her. I can stop.

And that’s another day in the land of Lauren. I recommend both the apple and the movie. The movie in particular. Very thought provoking. Plus, if anyone can tell me how the “monk” runs in shoes shaped like Ts, I would love to hear your theories.

I almost forgot. Dreamfarm Girl asked me what was better about cleaning squid than shrimp. I shall answer by providing you with youtube videos. For the squid one, I only get the tuby part he works on first. I don't have to deal with the tentacles. As to the shrimp, imagine doing that a few hundred times. Grit=poop. And the shells are rarely that clean. Sensitive stomachs beware.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOTMQ2oXdLE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88duRIfRhzA

The rest of the answer is posted in my comment on yesterday's post. Hope that answers your question?

Lauren.

Six out of Seven. Again.

Lauren is sleepy. At least, she should be. It’s now midnight here in the Middle of Nowhere and I’ve just returned from work. My boss took a reservation for 8:30 which is when the kitchen closes normally. So we were all there late. Very late. The weird thing is I’m not tired right now. I don’t know if it’s because I’m still high on adrenaline or if it’s because I forgot to take my meds yesterday (which totally messes me up) but I’m wide awake. Oh, I yawned... it’s adrenaline.

Well now that that has been answered successfully, I have no idea what to talk about. That tends to happen a lot... Crap! I forgot to chop cilantro... Oh well. They’ll figure it out Tuesday and yell at me then. I don’t even like cilantro. Bleh. I work in a Chinese food restaurant and it’s intense. When I say that, people tend to immediately picture an unclean pet slaughterhouse. Not the case with my restaurant. Not mine... Ed and Helen, it’s just shorter that way. I work in a family run business that’s been open since, I think before 1914. For sure since 1914. It is super clean, I know... I clean it and no dogs or cats enter the building let alone find their way into the food. We did once have a bat come inside. I don’t know what happened to him. It’s a classy place in other words and my bosses are great people.

The thing is, I work in the kitchen. I’m currently being trained as a cook and I’m getting pretty good if I say so myself. Please keep in mind yesterday’s post. I’ve already mastered dishwashing. I’m qualified as emergency waitress. Emphasis on emergency. The problem I’m having is that in the intense atmosphere, Ed tends to shout out seven things I should be doing all at the same time. Until I remembered the cilantro just now, I was going to say I finally got seven out of seven. Still at six out of seven... dammit. When I got in today, I was to get out the fried food, refill the vegetables, cut the carrots and celery, cut the green onions, mix the cashew chicken sauce, do the dishes, cut the bok choy and chop cilantro. Get lost in there somewhere? I managed to do it. Freaked me out. Didn’t even have to be told twice. After that of course I got to peel and devein shrimp again. Why is my labour so darn affordable!

About as soon as 7:45 hit, we moved non-stop until after 8:30. Which is great! It’s just stressful. Today though I did something that even surprised me. I started working when I was sixteen. I’ve worked in kitchens since. In that time I’ve managed to burn myself on every imaginable appliance, including a fridge. I have yet to burn myself on the deep fryer (GOD FORBID!). I had to make squid. So, I chucked the cut squid in the batter, I scraped it off, without tongs, without gloves, I dragged the squid through the over 300 degree oil (that’s Celsius) and then dropped it to cook. I did that about ten times. My hand is barely an inch from the oil. I somehow didn’t get burnt. There was a bit of splatter but no burns. I don’t get it. I burn myself on a fridge, and yet I’ve NEVER burned myself on THE most obvious appliance.

There, if there was doubt about life not making sense, I’ve just proven that it really doesn’t. You can’t question anymore. Lauren Daily states it as an irrefutable fact. You can quote me. Hope you enjoyed my blog about nothing. By the way, there was an extra piece of squid... Ed gave it to me! So freaking good! Also, I would clean a million squid over a two hundred shrimp any day. Meeko seemed happy enough to lick my hands.

Lauren.

"That is so Lauren."

I have several new people to welcome today! No one wears the Snuggies but feel free to be the first. So! I’m in the double digits! Yay! Welcome Jassie, f8hasit and the_blanga_ is. I hope you have fun following me around and don’t die of boredom along the way. That would smell and quite frankly... if I have a trail of dead bodies behind me... people are going to start getting suspicious. Why they never arrested Jessica Fletcher I will never know. Anyone get that one?

I was going to blog about something that totally infuriated me earlier in the week. It’s still really tempting. My mother said something that made me want to kick her, (I lack upper body strength and the ability to argue, but exceed lower body expectations) but I feel that blogging about it would probably just prove her right and I don’t want to do that. So there. Nani-poo!

Instead, I want to blog about my luck. I’ll have you saying “That’s so Lauren” in no time. I have horrible luck. Like the kind where you ask: “How the HELL did you manage that!”

Here’s a photo of my conditioner bottle. I dropped it in the shower (I know, I know, you aren’t supposed to do that) and this is the only part that broke. It’s not the same bottle. We threw that out. And go figure, the bottom isn’t flat! So there’s just that one little hole right over the opening to the bottle. It wouldn’t even close anymore... I had to wedge it between the washcloths not to make a mess.

I decided to cut across the football field of the school behind my house in order to get to the bus stop. DUMBEST IDEA EVER! It’s been frosty and snowy and rainy lately. This is what my shoes look like now. I stupidly forgot my cleats. Cause you know you gotta bring those with you all the time!

This is my washing machine. By my I mean my mom’s but I use it so blah. Yeah. I managed to hit my head on it. Hard, might I add. What do you think I hit my head on? If you said the ‘on’ knob, you’re right! That actually really hurt.

I was at my placement today, using the name Madame Daily. I’m at a French school, not a brothel. I don’t think it would have the ‘e’ if it were a brothel... I dunno... Anyway, the kids were watching Castaway to contrast it with Lord of the Flies (which is an awesome book). One of the girls says: “That movie is like, so old. It’s like ten years old.” By the way, that movie was made in 2000. Old movie my ass. I wonder what she calls a movie made in the 70s. Prehistoric?

So that was my day. Actually pretty good. I’m just clumsy. I’m going to have to make a clumsiness kit. Don’t really know what I’ll put in it... clumsiness isn’t exactly predictable. Anyone have suggestions?

Lauren.

Whaaaaaaaaat?

Wow... I won an award? I’m cursing my modesty right now. Not like... literary concepts of modesty, ‘cause I’m definitely wearing clothes, I just don’t know what to really say to that. Thanks Smileyfreak! Can I send it back to you ‘cause I totally don’t know seven people. I’ll find a way... I’ll just raid everyone’s followers while watching Grey’s and if one manages to distract me, they win. That’s probably not how I’ll do it... well, in part that’s probably how I’ll do it. Okay, I have no idea how I’ll do it! We’ll see.


Now on to formalities. I must state the rules. –gets out ridiculous Crier uniform and scroll- Hear yea, hear yea! And if yea hear not, get yea to a doctor or turn up yea hearing aids.

1. Thank whoever gave you the award (Thanks again Smileyfreak!)
   


2. Copy the award (Did that, only took me twenty minutes to figure it out!)
   


3. Post it on your blog (Can you see it? It’s there! Yay!)
   


4. Tell your readers 7 things they don't know about you (We’ll get to that shortly.)
   


5. Give the award to 7 bloggers (I’m working on it... stop pressuring me.)
   


6. Tell the bloggers on their blog (Accomplish step one before step two I always say!)
   


7. Keep being awesome. (I was awesome? I am awesome? Sweet!)
   

And now I must divulge seven secrets on the internet for everyone to see? How embarrassing. Well, you already know I get stuck in bathrooms, that I have big feet, that I invent superheroes, that my future career is cat lady. What can I say?

1. I like the colour pink. Tell anyone and I’ll know it was you! I actually hate yellow though.
   


2. I have a method for eating Smarties. They are eaten at random until there’s about a third of the box left. Then, I eat them by colour (not starting with red). When I get to about half of that, I decide which three colours look pretty together on that day. I save those three colours for last. I then eat them by colour saving my favourite of the three for last.
   


3. My favourite word is “fisticuffs”. Just because people think I’m making it up.
   


4. I LOVE SHOES!
   


5. I’ve seen every single James Bond movie with the exception of one and I’m not a Daniel Craig fan. Not as Bond anyway. I like that they went back to basics, but the stories suck.
   


6. I talk to inanimate objects. The dishwasher at work is a he. I argue with the mop because it hates to work and hides. The woks are mischievous and try to burn me constantly.
   


7. No one can read my handwriting. It’s usually called grandma writing or parent writing. I am neither of those two. I’ve provided you with a sample below. Let me know what you think. I didn’t think it was that bad until one of my professors singled me out in front of the class and said he had a hard time reading it.
   

Yeah, I’m quirky.... so what! I like being different. It means I’m not the same.

These are the blogs I’ve found. I started by raiding Smileyfreak’s followers.


http://www.f8hasit.com/ Your display picture intrigued me. It stands out. So I check in.


http://www.nurseexec.com/ I found you through the followers of F8hasit. I also thought your blog looked pretty.


http://lessonsinsamsara.blogspot.com/ I found you through the followers of nurseexec. I was confused what a Samsara was, but I liked your subtitle! GO YOU!


http://saucylostartist.blogspot.com/ I found you through the followers of lessonsinsamsara. I thought your pictures were kick ass! Where was your Halloween party?

http://quizmas.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-need-to-study-for-tomorrows-exam.html#comment-form. I found you through the followers of saucylostartist!

http://dreamfarmgirl.blogspot.com/ Because I always appreciate your feedback. Thanks!

http://ihaveabedmadeofbuttermilkpancakes.blogspot.com/ You were one of my first followers and your title rocks. Seriously. Thanks!

That makes seven!

Lauren.

Armistice Day 2009

Today is one of my favourite days of the year. That’s probably a puzzling statement. For my out of country readers, today is Remembrance Day where we remember the sacrifices of our soldiers. I’m double majoring in English and History so this day has always held a special place for me, because let’s face it, history is made by conflict and the biggest conflict there is, is war. This year in particular was very special for me because I hadn’t been able to go to a Remembrance Day celebration since high school. I’ve always been in class. We observed the silence, but going to the ceremony is different.

Again this year, I was in class. Though, ironically I suppose, I was in my Holocaust history class. My professor walked in today and said that he would lecture until about 10:35 and that after he would be going to the ceremony. We were free to join him. So I did. It was a relatively short ceremony but this year something hit me that never really hit me before.

The other night, when I was at work, Ed was telling me that veterans were sad because the young generation didn’t understand what today meant, what it was for. I actually agree and the only thing I had to respond to him was: I guess it’s just not relevant to kids anymore. World War Two is pretty far away for them.

Today, standing in the foyer of my school with most of my classmates, other students and faculty, I felt like the biggest idiot for uttering that statement. There were four speakers. Two of them were soldiers, one was the Vice President of the university and the other the Vice President of Student Life. The soldiers weren’t eighty year old men. One was probably in his forties at the latest. The other wasn’t five years older than me. How could I possibly think that wasn’t relevant? I could have gone to school with this guy! The older soldier had come back from his tour in Afghanistan recently. He spoke to us a little bit about that and I was thinking: Your first day there, a suicide bomber hits about a kilometre away and I’m complaining about dropping a case of beer? That and he kept referring to the guy beside him as a veteran. Talk about shifting my perspective. I know there’s a war in Iraq, but it’s so removed from my life that I did not think of it until then. There are eighteen and twenty year old vets and it’s not 1945 anymore.

I had my eyes opened today. I’ve spent most of my life studying war as a thing of the past and reading about its history. There are a lot of people out there who don’t support the war or the decision of our various governments to go to war. And that’s okay. I do however think that we should support our troops in spite of our opinions on the war. I’m not going to get preachy... it’s just I had one of those “WHOA!” moments.

When the ceremony ended (I nearly cried, I don’t cry) my class went back to class and my prof stood there for about three seconds. He just sort of raised his hand and said: “What can I say after that? We’ll pick up Monday.”

So that was my day. I think for the first time in my life, my mind was truly blown.

Lauren.

Watch This!

I went to therapy today. It was very much needed and I feel a lot better now. Let’s have a collective WOO! for mental health! But really, look after it, therapy is for sane people. Anyway, as usual, I vented all my frustrations onto my poor therapist. Actually, the recurring sentence of today was “F--- you”. You should seriously try saying that to people, it feels fantastic. I could literally feel the anxiety leaving my body. Now you know the secret to life.

I do actually have something more interesting than paint colours and Swiffers to discuss today. There are a lot of things that annoy me. I will admit it. The latest thing on my list is Weight Watchers. If it works for you, great! I mean that. If however, you’re Lauren’s parents, keep your Weight Watchers business to yourselves. You’re driving me crazy! AND IT’S NOT A LONG DRIVE!

If I hear one more thing uttered about points that does not refer to traffic violations or sports, I will impale myself on their Weight Watchers, weight watching, point counting, pencils! I had a fairly crappy day yesterday and I came home, looking forward to a hot meal. I got salad with some chicken on top. If you could see my face, it’s the face of unimpressed. And because of my dad’s heartburn, we couldn’t even flavour the chicken with garlic. It was just out of the box, frozen chicken. Okay, I’m being over dramatic. I was disappointed but it wasn’t horrible, it was fine actually.

The points thing is ridiculous! My mom picked up her horse approved cereal (meaning it’s made of oats and 50 million grains and other essentials that subsequently remove flavour) and had to put it back because it was too many points. My dad went out with some coworkers to a wing place. He only drank coffee and watched the other eat wings. It’s not a diet. It’s masochism. All they talk about is points. My dad picked me up from work tonight and the first thing he said about his night, “I couldn’t really have anything... too many points.” BAH! Of course, Ed and Helen laughed their faces off at me, making comments that I’m being underfed. Not quite. But the next thing they asked had them almost doubled over. After my rant, they asked me how long my parents had been on this diet. I looked at them, sighed and said five days.

I’m proud of them for making the decision and for sticking to it so far, but God... stick to it quietly and without torturing me! My friend Ian from the Women’s Center cleverly pointed out that the first three letters of ‘diet’ are ‘die’. I would have to agree. SARAH says that diets are for the weak. Again, I would have to agree. She said it jokingly mind you. My thoughts on the matter are that, you shouldn’t deprive yourself of foods you enjoy. My dad should have had something to eat with his friends tonight rather than JUST coffee. I think the problem is that we’ve lost our sense of moderation. Portion control is important, not eating all the wings you can just because you can is important, getting active is important. Depriving yourself just makes you cranky, annoying, frustrated, probably hungry. Realize why you eat and work on that! Maybe in therapy. Check out how I brought that full circle. It’s nearly midnight and I managed that. I’m a little impressed.

So that’s my rant and my preachy-ness for the day. EAT FOOD! IT’S GOOD FOR YOU!

By the way, on the midterm I totally used you guys as examples for... yeah... I got a 77! Woo me! And you of course! If I send you all secret hearts of happiness will you tell? They're coming, you'll feel them soon!

Lauren.

Swiff It, Swiff It Good.

Today, unlike yesterday, was eventful. It’s days like today that are the reason I answer: “I’m going to sleep for a year,” to people who ask me what I’m doing after school. Obviously I’m not physically going to be sleeping, I’m not Rip van Winkle. I’m just going to be reading for pleasure, catching up on five years of sleep deprivation and relaxing after six years of intense stress. No comments about having kids please... I know... But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about Swiffer. Yeah, the cleaning thingy.

Since I was... let’s say twelve, I’ve wanted to paint my room red. My parents were always like “No, do you know how long that’s going to take to paint over?” Of course my smart ass remark now would be “That was eight years ago and I’m still stuck here.” But that’s beside the point. Last year, I got very close to moving out and we’ll just say that I’m an integral cog in the good functioning of the machine that is my family. I am THE cog. So, my parents decided to go all out on my room. I got new furniture, new paint and even the offer of a TV. I turned the last one down. I doubt it would have become reality anyway. Finally, at 19, I got to paint my room red. It took six coats of paint and I don’t think my mom will ever attempt to paint over it, but it got done. I actually got a lot of things I’d been asking for for my room that year. Aside from the red, I got a lock. Woo!

So now in my pretty red room that I love, I discover that there’s a slight hitch. My former wall colour was a kind of mushroomish beige-brown colour. It was okay, not my choice, but it didn’t show dust. At all. The red is a totally different story. I can see it everywhere and it’s driving me nuts. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Lauren, take a cloth and wipe the wall.” HA! I did that, and these streaks appear. Talk about great paint. At last, I don’t know how, but while in conversation with my mother, we figured we would try the Swiffer Duster. In spite of the fact that it smells strongly of Febreeze (which I cannot handle in large doses) it actually works and doesn’t mark up my walls! Talk about a revelation! Seriously though, since I started working at the restaurant, I’ve become borderline OCD about things being clean. I don’t mind messy, but dirty unnerves me. Which actually reminds me that I have to do laundry. I don’t like being an adult. It’s not fun. Oh, that reminded me that I need to replace my towel. All of this is off topic.

In conclusion, Swiffer is wonderful on painted walls. As soon as I do the other crap and write a document analysis, I will dust all my walls.

If you ignore the creepy fat cat (aka Meeko) and my feet, that’s the colour of my wall. It looks better in person and it isn't quite that dark. In Meeko's defence, I think he was sleeping and my mom scared him with the flash of her camera. She hasn’t totally figured out how to use it yet. I’m behind the computer... hehe, probably writing my blog actually.

Lauren.

Writer's Block

Alright, I have no idea what the heck to write about. I was having a bit of a lazy day so I didn’t do a very much at all. I’ve been sitting here for... oh an hour or so, trying to think of what to write and I’ve got nothing. I hate when this happens. So today, I shall write about writer’s block.

It’s always been this obscure, spontaneous ailment that befalls me at the most inconvenient of times. I don’t know why, what it is, where it comes from. So, today I shall endeavour to give writer’s block a face we can all identify and curse. If you see any of the following approaching you, I suggest you run.

Is writer’s block a series of blocks that stack one on top of the other to block out your coherent thoughts and your ability to put them down on paper? Hmmm... watch out for piles of legos just in case.

So I don’t know about you but I think I’ll be avoiding this block. I never knew you could catch it by going to a geographical location. By the way, I just picked this off google... so no offence to anyone who may recognize this or live there. I put the little dude in though. YAY ME and YAY for PAINT!

Then there’s the little known karate move called the writer’s block. Notice Ralph Macchio’s perfect execution of the block. Yeah... poor Mr Miagi is just trying to give him some ideas. Geez. So I guess this is a warning against black belts and Karate Kid enthusiasts. They still exist right? The enthusiasts?

And then there’s the good ol’ fashioned magical spell. Notice Bellatrix Lestrange just whipping out the creepy green light and putting up all kinds a heavy duty brick walls. Dang her and her magical ability. Fear the scary green stink lines! Fear them!

But yeah... that’s all I’ve got today. Even that took me longer than anticipated. Stupid writer’s block... whichever one hit me. I haven’t travelled, seen Harry Potter characters or Ralph Macchio. I think the guy that plays Miagi is dead... It must have been the pile of legos. I knew I shouldn’t have played with them today. (All of mine are still in the basement. And I do still play with them on occasion. –Nerd Alarm Sounds--)

Here’s hoping tomorrow is more eventful.

Lauren.

Lara Croft beats Mazzini, but Ferdinand's Fly is Down

YAY! Seven followers! –does ridiculous dance- Ha! Can’t see me! And if you can, stop watching ‘cause it’s creepy. I’m not a dancer by any means. But back to the business at hand. Welcome follower seven, also known as Dreamfarm Girl! I won’t even mention the Snuggie... no one wears the damn things.

As some of you are doubtless aware, I’m still going to school. This year is my third year of university and I’m pretty excited to be done with it all. I’m starting to feel like it’s time to start seeing rather than just reading. Two years left! Thankfully, I have a few classes that I’m totally loving. One of them is 19th century literature. I love Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte and Dickens and we get to read all of them for class. Coo-ool! Here’s where I’m having an issue. I have to read a book called “A Sicilian Romance”. It’s making my brain want to implode and leak out my ears.

At the time it was this fantastic innovation type novel caught between Romanticism and the Gothic. When I say Gothic I’m talking Vlad the Impaler and his creepy run down castle, not the “I wear black and eye liner” sub culture of today. But that’s unimportant. It may have been innovative then, but it’s hurting me now. This thing is 199 pages and I cannot for the life of me get through it. The damn characters are always crying or fainting with little cause or provocation. It’s at a point where Ann Radcliffe is specifying when they DON’T faint. It’s driving me nuts. To make this more appealing, I’m going to come up with some alterations of my own.

When Julia faints, I’m going to say: “And Julia was so overcome that she spontaneously commenced singing Livin’ la Vida Loca.

When Julia starts to cry, I’m going to say: And as Julia began to cry, she transformed into Lara Croft and kicked some serious Mazzini ass!

When any male character begins to cry I’m going to say: ______ began to cry because his manicure was ruined by having to kick in a door.

When any male character draws his sword I’m going to say ______ drew his sword and in that moment, realized his fly was down and no one had bothered to tell him.

Basically, this is what it’s going to look and sound like:

“Saying this, he burst away, and Julia who had clung, weeping and transforming into Lara Croft in order to kick some serious Mazzini ass, upon his knees, fell prostrate upon the floor. The violence of the fall completed the effect of her distress and she spontaneously began singing Livin’ la Vida Loca.” (Mazzini is her father by the way.)

Or this...

“Ferdinand drew his sword and in that moment realized that his fly was down and that no one had bothered to tell him. He sprang forward; his companions screaming with terror ran back to madame’s apartment.”

Okay, maybe I can make it through this sucker now. I’m in about halfway. By the way, this is the book I invented the characters of Fran and Hulio for. I was right, it’s spelled Hippolitus not however I spelled it last.
Wish me luck.

Lauren.

Shrimpy Comic

In light of today going well again, I couldn’t think of anything in particular that I wanted to talk about or make fun of myself over. I did have to peel and devein shrimp again. It’s gross. I hate it. But I’m really good at it. I’ve explained this before but I will again for newer readers or readers who haven’t read me that far back. Basically, I get shrimp already beheaded, I defrost them and free them from a relatively large block of ice (they’re dead at this point), I rip off their shells, cut open their backs and remove their poop filled intestines so that you, the patron, don’t eat their poop. I’ve discovered that there are machines that do this, but apparently I’m cheaper. I’m also more thorough. I know I am! I think they call it deveining to entice other minimum wage earners into doing it. Removing a vein doesn’t sound nearly as gross as removing an intestine.

Anyway, Helen actually sort of gave me this idea. She asked me if I dreamt of shrimp. I told her I didn’t. Then she starts re-enacting it.

Helen speaking in dream- like, mystical tone: Lauren, my name is Tiger, last name Shrimp.
Lauren: Yeah, and then they’re like, you’re the bitch who rips off my shell and slices me open.

So I decided to have the shrimp have a little conversation. I also wanted to illustrate to you fish lovers what some of us go through so you can eat. By the way, I don’t eat shrimp anymore. I’ve deveined too much. I’m probably at around 10 000 shrimp by now. Sea food is popular.

Did I ruin shrimp for you? I hope not. I still like shrimp crackers. Shrimp is good! It really is. And yes, I did make these little cartoons. I doubt another person out there is that bored.

Enjoy?

Lauren.

Dun Dun Dun!

I woke up this morning feeling pretty darn good. I slept really well, I had nothing to hand in, my homework was done. It was all good. But then I got up and looked outside. This is what I saw.

Holy crap right! The snow is still on the ground! It’s here to stay I think. By the way, I went outside barefoot in my pyjamas to get that picture. Clearly I’m worried about getting sick. So yeah, November 5th and we have snow. Last year we had a green Christmas, which was weird. Don’t get me wrong, I love winter, love it. I just hate walking in it.

I went and dug out my winter boots. Running late, again, I hurried to put them on, but my lace snapped. Go figure. I scrambled to find another one and finally manage. I run out the door and the snow is wet, so it’s like walking in rain. My whole walk to the bus stop I was praying that it wouldn’t be the Evil Early Bus Driver. I think the name speaks for itself. Yay! I beat her. Mwahahaha! All of my conversations that morning went along the lines of: “I was having such a good hair day. I called my boyfriend and everything to tell him. Then I went outside.” This is where guys have an advantage... for the most part anyway. No one really had nice hair that morning. Except for people with cars. Their hair was nice. Plus everyone’s pant legs were drenched up to the backs of their knees. All in all though, it wasn’t horrendous. It wasn’t slippery and the cars that passed me were nice enough to swerve away from puddles.

Now that I’ve given winter haters a heart attack, I’m going to use that expression as a jumping off point. My dad came home today and all is well. As always, no one is telling me anything, but given that he’s up an about, it looks like whatever happened is behind him. After getting over his confusion at your well wishes (he doesn’t really know how any of this works) he says thank you to everyone who expressed concern.

I hope I didn’t scare you all with the winter weather. In case I did, here’s a consolation. Use the power of your imagination. You can do it! I believe in you!

Anyone reading this from a place where there’s no snow is totally either confused or laughing. Enjoy your giggles! I get snowballs and hot chocolate!

Lauren.

I'm of the 21st Century

Well, today was infinitely better than yesterday. I looked back at my blog from yesterday and most of that stuff is really pretty minor. Amazing what minor things do to your psyche when they just pile on top of each other isn’t it? Anyway, my dad is still in the hospital, they’re still monitoring him but from what my mom says, there’s nothing to worry about yet. I haven’t talked to him or seen him so, I guess I’ll have to take her word for it. Darn you H1N1! As visiting hours are apparently not happening because of it, not that I have it. Thank God for that.

I didn’t sleep very well last night so it resulted in more energy being spent on not falling asleep than actual paying attention in class. So I ditched on my history of sexuality class half way through. The irony of this situation is that today was the day I actually did the most homework for it. Go figure. But yeah, I can’t wait for that class to be over. I like to think of myself as being pretty open minded but there’s just something unpleasant about talking about penis sizes in ancient Greece, or the Church’s views on sex even if it’s within the confines of marriage or masturbation and how women are horrible sexual beings, when you’re in a classroom setting with like... forty people. “Lauren, what were marital sex practices like in Medieval Europe?”

1) If you must have sex, be married.

2) If you’re married but don’t want to pollute your soul, don’t have sex, but it has to be

agreed upon before you get married that the couple will be celibate.

3) If you’re married and you must, follow like fifty rules.

This is the chart out of my text book explaining the fifty rules. Obviously this chart wasn’t followed because the human race would have died out within a decade or two. I think I speak for everyone in the 21st century when I say, THANK GOD IT’S THE 21st CENTURY!

Since it's hard to see, if you want to have sex, it can't be: Wednesday, Friday, Sunday, daylight, be with someone else's wife, you can't be naked already, you have to want children, along with a whole bunch of other stuff. If you want to laugh and read the rest, google catholic sex flowchart. You should be able to find it.

Aside from that, I’m getting sick of having articles like: “Good Sex, Bad Sex”, “Transvestism and the Stage Controversy”, “Producing Patriarchy, Male Sodomy and Gender” on my desktop. Believe me, the first article is not what you think it’s about. It ain’t no Cosmo magazine. The last one is quite good though. Ah! It’s warping my mind man! Plus, I’m sure my mom is starting to wonder about me when she sees this stuff on my computer.

So rather than stick around (should I say that?) for the discussion on masturbation, I chose to come home and have a nap. I never nap. But man was it lovely and I feel so much better. It should be illegal to leave your bed when you’re in a comfy little ball and it’s all warm and no matter how you move you’re comfy. Ugh... so nice. Picture Homer Simpson drooling over a doughnut, that’s what I’m like over that nap.

That was my day. And thank you so much to those who commented on yesterday’s post, Smileyfreak and Kathryn of course, it really meant a lot. Hope everyone enjoyed the chart. Just remember to think about it... you know... when you need to think about it. Hehe!

Lauren.

It Happens

Remember when I said I had the worst shift I’d had in a long time? Yeah... I didn’t foresee today happening. Today was bad from start until finish with very little relief from the suckiness. It’s taking a lot of effort not to go to bed and stay there for the next three days. Unfortunately, or I guess it’s more fortunate than not, I’m a practical girl and lying in bed sulking is not practical.

I’ve been trying for the last hour or so to think of a way to spin today into a positive light so this is going to be my attempt. I am going to use the words “but at least” at the end of all of my negative statements in the hopes that I can find enough glimmers of positive energy to get me through the next few hours before bed.

I woke up late. But at least I woke up, and early enough not to miss the bus.

My bag weighs about 25 pounds and I have to walk. But at least I’m getting exercise. And now I know that if ever I have children, I’ll be able to get them out of the house in the event of a fire.

I couldn’t find my shoes and was almost late. But at least I found them and wasn’t late.

I didn’t do all my homework because I just didn’t have the time. But at least I tried and didn’t have a pop quiz today.

I practically fell asleep in my classes because I barely slept last night. But at least you took some notes so you’ll be able to figure it out later.

I have to work and I’m exhausted. But at least you have a job and your school day is over.

I dropped an entire case of beer, broke five bottles and made a mess. But at least Helen didn’t get mad and is considering not making you pay for the broken bottles.

I want to go home because I’m falling asleep standing up. But at least you’ll be home in two hours and Ed did make you a delicious supper.

My dad was admitted to the hospital. But at least he’s somewhere qualified people are watching him and looking after him.

I have an essay to finish that’s due tomorrow. But at least you’re almost done.

Well... it helped a bit... not enough to cheer me up mind you. It was just a bad day. The irony of all this is that the song “It Happens” by Sugarland is playing over and over in my head. I think it’s going to be my new mantra. Well, I have an essay to finish and haha! the professor who assigned it came in to work tonight. Bleh! Ed suggested poisoning him... Just bad enough food poisoning to give me an extra day or something. Anyway, before I bring more bad karma down on my head, I shall leave you. Hope your day was better than mine! Wish me luck.

Lauren.

Movie Lines

I’m only partially conscious as I’m writing this so if it makes any sense at all, I’m going to be impressed. Today was long. I did a whole whack of things ranging from being attacked by Meeko at 4 in the morning to actually starting my placement. On the upside, I did have fun at my placement, I did catch the bus that goes right by my house and I did clear up a lot of things with one of my friends. I especially feel good about the last one. Too much murky stuff was swirling around in my head. Now it’s all clear and happy and so I’m happy. Happy ish anyway.

But that’s my little rant. Now that it’s over I think I’m going to discuss some of my favourite lines from TV and movies. At least the ones I can think oft now. They’ll most likely be paraphrased.

“His name is Mr. Bear, he eats children.”
It’s from Grey’s Anatomy. Christina was attempting to work in Peds and it just wasn’t working for her. I think it’s the tone that made me giggle more than anything. That or her genuine and rather pathetic attempts to entertain kids with Mr. Bear before uttering the eats children remark.

“You can’t pray away the gay.”
Also from Grey’s Anatomy. I think it might have been the same episode. Maybe not. I think it’s a really interesting comment. And not only cause it rhymes! Which is also awesome. It’s like... if I could, don’t you think I would? I know it would make my life easier. Oh well. If you can’t beat ‘em... (And I don’t mean physically beating. I would never hit my girlfriend.)

“In movies you have the leading lady and you have the best friend. Why are you acting like the best friend?”
This is from The Holiday. My copy is currently in ruins because Blockbuster sucks. Yeah, I went there. Sold me a crap copy. Anyway, Eli Wallach says it to Kate Winslet when she starts talking about her life. It’s a good movie. If you haven’t seen it, do.

“It’s not my job to make you a better man!”
It’s from an episode of the L Word and spoken by my least favourite character, Jenny Schecter. Bleh. Her male roommate was secretly recording them and when she confronted him, he was very sincerely sorry but was totally destroyed by Jenny’s razor wit. Even if you aren’t into the L Word, if you’re female, you’d probably really like this scene.

“Get out of your head, get into your body.”
From Molly Shannon in Gray Matters. Gray is freaking out over her presentation because she’s dealing with a whole host of issues. So Molly Shannon pulls her aside and repeats this line so many times and with the most serious face and hand gestures it’s funny. It’s a great expression actually.

“She doesn’t have to choose, she can have us both.”
Susan Sarandon in Stepmom. Another good movie. I actually think this line is so ironic. It’s near the end after they’ve been fighting for this girl’s attention and affection all friggin’ movie. Still better late than never I suppose.

“You’re a slut, a gay slut.”
Janet in DEBS. Ditzy girl cop falls for the rock star super villain and this is what her partner has to say about it. Just the matter of fact tone and the way she looks at her makes me laugh.

“The lily means: I dare you to love me.”
Okay, I actually love this line. It’s said by Lena Heady in Imagine Me and You. It’s very sweet. No I’m not always a pessimistic robot... There’s this whole lily theme in the movie and the girl she likes loves lilies.

-coughs- Anyway...

I think that’s enough. I watch a lot of TV and I find random things funny. I’m sure you’ve noticed. If I’m this pooped tomorrow I’ll possibly write a post on my favourite words. Oh, I forgot, hi JD! Sorry about that.

Lauren.